Seriously, what in the actual holy fuck are you doing right now?

The latest single from MMLP2, “The Monster” (featuring Rihanna) is beyond disappointing.

What is most harshly underwhelming – before I even get in to details – is how generic, and predictable this song sounds. This is supposed to be the next big pillar single from the sister album to his conceptual, artistic masterpiece, and this is what we get?

It’s not bad music. It’s just generic, and doesn’t seem to make any sense to be on MMLP2.

Em’s verses are fine, the beat and the hook are placid and catchy enough; part of the problem is how inoffensively catchy and hum-de-la poptart the feel of this music is. Which, in itself wouldn’t even be a huge issue if Em was truly going in that musical direction (and it was consistent throughout), but he’s not… he said he’s revisiting MMLP themes, this song doesn’t even make sense sonically.

This song already sounds absurd next to “Rap God”, they may as well be different albums. Or more appropriately, “The Monster” should be on Recovery where it belongs. It’s like Em figures out a hit formula and cannot help but carry it across, which he’s always done, but it’s so fucking blatant now.

– Airy, spacey slut hook.
– Simplistic introspective verses about nothing in particular but always the struggles of fame.
– Pop-rock-soft-tempo beat.

When attempting to come up with new songs for this project, new singles to rival and contrast his most acclaimed, daring, original, bold, thrilling, hilarious, subversive, unexpected and macabre masterpiece; where in Em’s brain did the thought surface “Hmm, well, I think getting Rihanna to sing another broad hook (her 456000th this week mind you) which could have been on any rap or pop album in the past 5 years… mixed with Recovery-style introspection and ‘overcoming my demons’, sticking to the ‘hit formula’ of 16 exact bars… yep, this seems to be the absolute best I can do”. Good one Em.

And seriously – to any fans who say this doesn’t sound like Recovery… what planet are you actually from.

What’s upsetting is that Em is willing to settle for generic choices now. And it’s also annoying as fuck how unambitious he seems to be now. I mean, he was the one who chose to ASK US to compare this album to MMLP, he fucking titled the album; where in his mind did he glance across the singles for the original and then glance these new ones and think “Yeah… they match-up / are better”, to not even attempt a single concept is so uninspiring. Where’s the dare, the thrill?

He could write songs like this in his sleep. But most of all – FUCK YOU EM for putting this flower power song anywhere near the album you rolled out of bed to decide to call The Marshall Mathers LP 2. This in no way revisits, mirrors or sounds like it is at all related to anything about MMLP, it makes no sense, it sounds like it’s a track lifted from B.o.B’s Strange Clouds with some cooler Recovery verses thrown over it. THIS is what we waited 3 and a half years for? Wow.

I have no doubt there will be genius tracks on the album, but I have now lost faith this can be a classic.

33 thoughts to “Fuck You Em.

  • Allen

    same dogg Em helped me through everything a white boy in foster care in Gary Indiana was frowned upon till me people always saying they wasn’t feeling me till they found out no one was as ill as me

    Reply
  • Allen

    Fuck you guy everything Em does is good. I guarantee hes doing better than u r so many people are so susceptible to dissing on Em but hes doing better than them and he came from the Detroit scene that should show his realness enough, but u bitch made ass niggas always dissing on him hes the greatest so suck a dick stupid ass trick.

    Reply
  • Tonya

    I just really can not stand people that want to come to a site to post negative bullshit about any btw.. thats makin it just fine with what they’re doin. You’re not a fan of the recent things hes done… oh well you’re a fan or you’re not.. but i can probably guaranty that your critical, judgemental ass isnt the baddest rapper that we’ve ever seen or heard of…making millions… but you go ahead and point out ignorant shit.. dont listen to it if you dont like it instead you’re over here being a “disappointed lil bitch”

    Reply
  • Earl

    Eminem is the best rapper and i don’t care what anyone else says inspired me to rap and I’m thankful for that

    Reply
  • Celeste

    Why so negative?

    Reply

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