Yesterday, the tracklist for Revival was revealed:
— Marshall Mathers (@Eminem) December 5, 2017
*Takes deep breath*…
DISCLAIMER : BEFORE YOU READ THE BELOW – I COULD BE COMPLETTTEEELY WRONG AND THIS SOMEHOW TURNS OUT TO BE SOME CORRECT SOUNDING MASTERPIECE. IF SO, AWESOME! I’M AN EMINEM FAN, SO THIS IS WHAT I WANT. I’M JUST PRESUMING BASED ON THE PAST COUPLE OF ALBUMS, AND THE PAST 10,000 [INSERT POP STAR HERE] TRACKS WE’VE HEARD SINCE FROM EM.
IF I’M WRONG… COOL! THEN WE ALL HAVE A DOPE ALBUM TO LISTEN TO. BUT, I DOUBT IT.
Alright, let’s start with the obvious – WHAT THE FUCK?? Seriously, what in the actual Fuck?
We waited 4 years – most of us expecting Em to return with something authentic, and yet again we see an abundance of pointlessly famous pop stars turning up to ruin any chance of a coherent listening experience. Basically just a giant hits/sales/money grab? Total fucking sell-out bullshit – fuck you for that Em. Cunt.
You worry about ruining your legacy on “Walk on Water”, then talk about retards complaining about how fast your flow is on “Speedom” ; How about maybe not taking a giant dump on your legacy by tastelessly recruiting big names to come lay your hooks and create easy hits for you. It’s cheap and embarrassing.
I don’t think Eminem should try to cater for anybody. I don’t think any artist should. But that’s exactly what these features are – pandering and lazy hit formulas. Worst of all is that it’s not even pandering to rap fans who truly understand his art & craft, it’s pandering to teenie boppers and casual listeners.
MMLP2 was a disaster; a collection of brilliant individual tracks and outstanding rapping, but complete dog shit in terms of cohesiveness and album arrangement. Mainly as tracks which sounded like they were made for different eras (“Survival” = Recovery) were mixed with new shit, production styles didn’t mesh and because there’s like 1,000 fucking feature hooks on the album, creating a very disjointed experience.
I was really looking forward to Revival, thinking surely Em would not be THIS predictable, again, and do the exact thing which is expected of him as he’s been using this lazy, cheap formula for 7 fucking years now, again. But, nope. He really is cool with being that predictable and shitting on another album.
I’m still looking forward to the rapping, as there will no doubt be some mind-blowing shit on here, as always. That’s not in question; before anybody responds with stupid shit like “You want the old Eminemz!!”. Nope. I want NEW Eminem; I love Eminem’s modern rapping… I just want authentic Eminem. Not this bullshit.
Remember when Eminem used to make his own hooks? Those were the days.
Now, he seems to feel every hook needs to be sung and preferably by a really famous pop star – with which he has no artistic connection outside of also being really famous and being able to ask them to sing this new shitty hook Skylar wrote, which sounds like every other Skylar hook, so he can make some more easy sHits.
One tiny plus is that he at least seemed to go work with these people in the studio:
Which may mean the tracks sound just a little bit more authentic. Regardless, I just cannot possibly see how 7 fucking feature hooks; especially being the kinds of hooks they will be (light, airy, ballad-esque pop hooks which totally contrast Em’s harsh rapping and his other harsh rap hooks) can possibly result in a coherent listening experience. Another 6-7/10 album and MMLP2 part 2 – here we come!
Oh and by the way, Alex Da Cunt has like 5 beats on this shit too. Didn’t see that one coming, right!?
To sum-up, the ass:
- 8 features is ass, and desperate
- 7 pop features is pure ass, and tasteless
- this is likely going to sound disjointed as fuck, just like MMLP2
- 7 huge name pop features, for the sake of it, again, is sell out as FUCK. And ass.
- this is likely going to sound disjointed, did I mention that? Like MMLP2. The previous album.
- THIS SHIT HAS 7 FUCKING FEATURE HOOKS. ASS!!!
- 5 Alex Da Kid beats… Ass!
- 50 fucking producers on here again… Ass!!!
- Some badass track titles here, such as “Untouchable”, “Framed”, “Heat”, “Offended”
- This will likely contain Eminem’s best writing and rapping ever. From a technical standpoint.
- Eminem seems weirdly confident (have you seen his demeanor lately?), like he knows this is dope
Ah well. Let’s wait and fucking see. December 15th. Boom.
PS. The back-cover looks like it was designed by a child in MS Paint.